Movie: Spud

John 'Spud' Milton is a pupil at an elite South African boarding school in the early 1990s. His story started as a novel (Penguin, 2005) written by John van de Ruit and later became a film. It is a coming of age story and Spud, who is fourteen, falls in love with Debbie, the daughter of one of his mother's friends, whom he nicknames The Mermaid.

The book is written in the style of a diary. One night Spud and his chums go out for a midnight swim, which is of course, against the rules.

This is what happens the next day:

Sparerib [his Housemaster] called us all out of prep (except for Fatty and Vern). I felt my right leg shaking as we followed him to his office. He sat behind his desk and looked at us with a mixture of anger and humour. (Of course it could also have just been the fact that he has a wonky eye.)

“Right,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “Our intrepid night swimmers.” He studied us all in turn. My whole body was shaking now. I felt light-headed. Next to me Gecko swayed. Mad Dog gripped him with his left hand.

“I have decided to release Vern Blackadder from  punishment due to his frail state,” continued Sparerib. “Are there any objections?” We all shook our heads and  just for that brief moment I wished that I were Vern Blackadder in the warm comfort of the classroom and not Spud Milton standing in front of the executioner. I then remembered that Vern has no dad and his cheese is shipping off his cracker (so basically it was fifty-fifty).

Sparerib opened a cupboard and took out three canes. After some consideration he chose the thinnest cane and returned the other canes to the cupboard.

“Gentlemen,” said Sparerib with a forced sigh, “I do not take night swimming lightly. It may be a game or an adventure to you, but we staff see it as a dangerous pastime. Whilst at school you are under my care and so to prevent further episodes of this nature, I will be making an example out of you lot.”

The siren wailed for the end of prep. I could hear boys shouting and running. Nearby somebody stumbled and hit the ground with a thud. A chorus of laughter followed. And then ... a knock at the door. Sparerib shouted, “What?” After a brief pause the door creaked open and there stood Vern Blackadder staring at us, his face white with terror. Sparerib’s tone softened. “Ah, Vern you aren't called. You’ve been granted a period of grace.”

Vern didn't move. He just stood there staring at Sparerib. After what seemed like ages he lowered his gaze and said, “Sorry, sir, all for one.” We stared dumbfounded at Vern as he continued to look at the floor. Rambo smiled and nodded to him with a look of great respect.

“Very well. Four strokes each, one at a time. Let’s get it over with.” As we shuffled out of the office Sparerib pulled out a chair and took off his jacket. Rambo (who had chosen to go first} stayed behind. The door closed. After about ten seconds the beating began. It sounded truly horrific. Each stroke seemed more savage than the last. Rambo emerged from the office, walking casually, but couldn’t hide the pain in his face. Mad Dog followed and sauntered out, smiling. A crowd of boys, many of them from other houses, gathered around to watch the show. Next Boggo sped out, rubbing his arse. Much to the delight of the growing crowd he pulled down his pants and cooled his bum on the red brick cloister wall. By this stage. I was all set to run away, or wet myself. Then Gecko flew out the office, screaming, and vomited in the gutter.

I staggered into the office and could hear the noise of the crowd outside. “Hands on the chair, Milton, and grit your teeth,” said Sparerib as if he was offering me a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit. I gripped the chair and stared out of the window at the starry sky. Mad Dog’s words were screaming around in my head. “Think of the best thing in your life and you’ll beat the pain.”

I could see the Mermaid. We were back in the swimming pool . . . WIIACK! Her beautiful bright eyes, water droplets cascading down her face . . . WIIACK! “Come in, Johnny, it’s warm! It’s lovely!” WHACK! “Hold your breath Johnny, hold my hand, Johnny!” WHACK!

Then I was running. My backside was on fire. As I left the office I remember catching a glimpse of Vern’s horrified face. He was last. The crowd hooted and laughed. I kept running and running and running and then I was laughing and shouting. People I didn’t know were thumping me on the back and laughing. Rambo shook my hand and Mad Dog threw his arm around my shoulder. There was Simon and Boggo and Vern and Gecko, laughing, talking rubbish. Tonight we were once again brothers in arms.

 

The following morning:

Julian lined us up in the showers to examine our backsides. He and Bert took their time going from one bum to another making observations and now and again prodding someone’s butt cheeks with the back end of a toothbrush. Gecko’s entire backside is blue and Julian awarded him first prize.

 There was a flash of light and before we knew it, Julian had taken a photograph of our naked behinds. (No doubt this photograph will surface in some seedy magazine when I’m rich and famous).

 

Below is how the scene played out in the movie.

Pictures and movie credits: Pinnacle Films

Spud, the novel is available to purchase here. The movie is available in a variety of formats, including streaming.

 

For more Movie Clips, click here

 

Traditional School Discipline

Traditionalschooldiscipline@gmail.com