Play up and play the game

“You’re not allowed to touch us, you rotter,” panted Levison. “You know that. You’re a cricket coach, and you’re paid to be useful to us, you cad!” – Extracted from Playing the Game, by Martin Clifford (a.k.a Frank Richards), The Gem, 8 June 1935. Available to download here.

KILDARE paused and frowned. The captain of St. Jim’s had just entered one of the upper box-rooms in the School House to look for something he needed and a smell of cigarette smoke came to his nostrils as he opened the door. It was evident he had dropped by chance upon some “doggish” youth who was breaking the strict rule of St. Jim’s.

He threw the door wide open and stared into the room. Two juniors, who were seated upon an empty trunk, jumped up. Levison slipped his cigarette into his sleeve and Mellish dropped his on the floor. They both looked in dismay at the St. Jim’s captain. They were fairly caught.

Kildare looked at them grimly.

“Smoking,” he said.

“Oh!” gasped Mellish.

“Just trying a fag,” said Levison with an air of bravado.

“Indeed! Give me your cigarettes!”

The juniors obeyed.

“Now, all that you have in your pockets.”

“I – I haven’t any,” faltered Mellish.

“But you have, Levison, you young rascal!”

Levison hesitated a moment and then handed a packet of cheap cigarettes to the Sixth Former.

Kildare broke the cigarettes into little pieces and scattered the fragments over the floor of the box-room.

“Why aren’t you at cricket practice?” demanded Kildare.

“I – I forgot,” muttered Mellish.

“Don’t lie, Mellish! You two are always sneaking out of cricket practice,” said Kildare sternly. “Come with me!”

The two juniors followed the captain of St. Jim’s downstairs and into his study. There Kildare gave them two cuts each. Levison turned towards the door as the St. Jim’s captain laid down his cane.

“Hold on!” said Kildare quietly.

“What do you want?” demanded Levison savagely.

“Follow me!”

Kildare strode out into the quadrangle, and made his way to the cricket ground. The two cads of the Fourth followed him sullenly.

Afternoon lessons were over, and the playing fields were swarmed. Mr. Fitzgerald was there with a crowd of juniors, and they were very busy. Arthur Fitzgerald nodded cordially to Kildare. There was a great liking already between the captain of St. Jim’s and the former county cricketer.

“Will you look after these two young rotters a bit, Mr. Fitzgerald?” asked Kildare. “They have been dodging cricket practice. I want them kept at the nets a good half-hour.”

“Certainly,” he said.

Kildare went back to the House. Mellish was looking sullen and Levison savage. He had consumed a good many cigarettes in the box-room before the captain of St. Jim’s discovered him there and he was far from feeling in a state for exertion.

“Come my lads,” said Mr. Fitzgerald kindly. “Here, Levison, take this bat.”

Levison put his hands into his pockets.

“Do you hear me, Levison?” said Mr. Fitzgerald quietly.

“I don’t want to play cricket!”

“You know perfectly well that practice is compulsory, Levison, and that I have the directions of your school captain.”

“I am not going to play!”

“Bai Jove, Levison!”

“Cheese it, Gussy!” said Blake, “Fitz can deal with him.”

“But weally ...!”

“Dry up!”

“You heard your captain’s orders,” said Mr. Fitzgerald. “I shall not allow you to talk nonsense, Levison. Take that bat at once!”

Levison did not move.

“Will you obey me!”

“No, I won’t!”

Mr. Fitzgerald set his lips. He made one grasp at Levison and caught him by the shoulder. The cad of the Fourth was swept almost off his feet.

“You’re not allowed to touch us, you rotter,” panted Levison. “You know that. You’re a cricket coach, and you’re paid to be useful to us, you cad!”

“Give me a stump, please!” said Mr. Fitzgerald.

Blake handed him a stump.

Mr. Fitzgerald made a knee, laid Levison across it, and gave him a dozen lashes with the stump.

Levison roared and wriggled, but he could not escape from the iron grasp of the cricket coach.

The juniors stood around in a ring, roaring with laughter. They had no sympathy to waste upon the cad of the Fourth. He had looked for trouble and he had found it, that was all. He had imagined that he could insult the coach with impunity, and he had discovered the mistake.

 

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