Football down the trousers ...

Slash! Wallop! Swish! Again and again the cane cut through the air and Tubby Ryan and his pals in the quadrangle must have thought Willoughby was receiving a frightful licking. Then at last Mr Wagstaff through his cane aside. – Extracted from 200 Peas a Minute, a Red Circle School story, The Hotspur, 21 July 1934, (available free-of-charge online here.)

By accident Horace Glossop hit schoolmaster Mr Smugg full in the face with a blast from his super-powered pea-shooter. After a chase Glossop dropped some of the peas in Smugg’s study before making an escape leaving them behind. Fearing that he will be found out and severely punished by Smugg, Glossop goes to his pal Willoughby to see if he can save him from a caning. He agrees to do so for a price.

Now, read on ...

 

It seemed that Willoughby had already made his plans. At any rate he locked his study door the moment the other juniors had left and hurried across the room to a large cupboard.

This was filled with all kinds of junk, and Willoughby took out two curious articles. One was a pair of old trousers and the other a still older football case.

He then proceeded to cut all the stitches in the footer case and place the leather “panels” on the table. Next he turned the old pair of trousers inside out and started to sew layer after layer of leather to the inside of the pants.

“I wish I had a few sheets of armoured plate instead of these leather panels,” he grinned as he sewed away. “Still I ought to be all right.”

The job took rather a long time to finish but it was over at last. Willoughby made sure that none of the stitches showed through the seat of them, and then he took off his own trousers. With a cheery grin he donned the leather-lined pair and went again to his junk cupboard.

This time it was an ordinary tin pea-shooter he wanted. He found one without any trouble and slipped it into his pocket. Then he glanced at the study clock and squared his shoulders.

“Mr Wagstaff [Willoughby’s Housemaster] will be in his study now,” he decided. “Smuggy will have told him all about what happened. In fact, it was never wise to try and bluff him but Willoughby meant to risk it for once. He grabbed some lines he owed Waggy and left the study.

When the junior entered Mr Wagstaff’s study, he found the Housemaster lying back in his easy chair reading a book.

“Please, sir, I have brought you the imposition you gave me in class this morning,” said Willoughby.

“Well, put it on the table,” rapped Mr Wagstaff. “I trust it will be a lesson to you. Close the door as you go!”

Willoughby turned towards the door, and at the same time pulled his handkerchief from his jacket pocket. At once there came a curious rattling sound, as if a young hailstorm had broken out in the room. That was Willoughby deliberately dropping peas on the polished wooden floor!

With an excited gasp Mr Wagstaff jumped out of his chair. He took one quick look at those peas on the floor, then thundered:

“Willoughby, come here!”

The junior stepped up to the table heartily wishing that the next ten minutes were over. Then Waggy’s stern voice rang out again.

“Have you a pea-shooter, Willoughby?”

“Yes, sir,” quivered the junior, pulling from his pocket the one he had taken from his junk cupboards. “Please, sir___”

“Silence!”

Mr Wagstaff barked the one word and turned to his mantel-shelf. On it were about half a dozen small, hard peas. Mr Smugg had found them on his study floor after Horace Glossop’s visit to that room. Smuggy had given them to Mr Wagstaff as clues which might lead him to discover the lad who had peppered him with a pea-shooter.

Mr Wagstaff now placed these peas on the table and picked up a few which Willoughby had just dropped. The two samples were exactly alike, of course. Mr Wagstaff’s face became very stern.

“Willoughby, you are the boy who assaulted Mr Smugg this evening!” he stormed. “Do you deny it?”

The junior’s hangdog look was enough for Mr Wagstaff. He thought he had found his culprit.

“Your silence amounts to a confession,” he rasped. “Lean over that chair!”

The chair to which Waggy pointed was near an open window. Willoughby crossed the room and leaned over the seat of it.

The light from the electric bulb was shining through the window out into the dark quadrangle, and Willoughby could see Tubby Ryan, Jim Stacey and Dead-Wide Dick Doyle standing there. All three Homers were standing up at the window open-mouthed. They must have heard everything Mr Wagstaff had said.

However, Willoughby had no time to think about Tubby Ryan & Co. He shut his eyes, gritted his teeth and hoped for the best.

Slash!

Mr Wagstaff brought the cane swishing across Willoughby’s pants but it scarcely hurt at all. That leather lining was working splendidly.

Slash! Wallop! Swish! Again and again the cane cut through the air and Tubby Ryan and his pals in the quadrangle must have thought Willoughby was receiving a frightful licking. Then at last Mr Wagstaff through his cane aside.

As he did so the study door crashed open and Mr Smugg came striding in. The Yank Housemaster’s eyes were ablaze with anger and he pointed furiously at Willoughby, still leaning over the chair.

“You have been caning that boy, Mr Wagstaff,” he boomed. “Why?”

“Because I have proof that he was the lad who peppered you with peas this evening,” began Waggy. “I am quite certain___”

Mr Smugg nearly tore his hair with rage.

“If Willoughby is the culprit , I have a much more serious charge to bring against him,” he cried. “He must be the boy who picked the lock of my desk and tore open the envelope containing the questions set by the Head for tomorrow’s half-term examination!”

 

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Traditional School Discipline