Remembering: Mr. Quelch

Posted by Traditional School Discipline January 01, 2021

Remembering: Mr. Quelch

Henry [sometimes known as Horace] Samuel Quelch was the form master of the Remove (lower fourth) at Greyfriars School in the Billy Bunter stories. Bunter (The Fat Owl) first appeared in The Magnet, a story paper for boys, in 1908 and after it closed in 1940 Bunter and Quelch lived on in books, comic strips, television series as well as radio and stage plays.

Quelch was a strict disciplinarian and frequently described as a beast, but a just beast. Like most other schoolmasters in English school stories of the times he constantly carried a cane. And, he was not shy in using it, either across the palm of a boy’s hand or the seat of his trousers. Nor was author Frank Richards afraid to describe Quelch in action.

Mr. Quelch picked up a cane from his table. Billy Bunter watched that proceeding with the deepest apprehension. The Remove master pointed to a chair with the cane.
“Bunter! Bend over that chair!”
“Oh, crikey!”
“At once!” thundered Mr. Quelch.
In the lowest possible spirits, Billy Bunter bent over the chair. The cane swished and descended. Billy Bunter’s tight trousers fairly rang under the swipe.
“Wow!” roared Bunter.
Swipe!
Swipe!
“Yarooooh!”
Billy Bunter had been “whopped” before: often, though not so often as he had deserved. But he had never had it like this before! Quelch was putting his beef into it. Apparently he thought it his duty to be severe in this flagrant case: and Quelch was a whale on duty. He was running no risk of spoiling Bunter by sparing the rod!
Swipe!
“Yow-ow-ow-ow-ow”
Swipe!
“Yooo-hooooooop!”
Swipe!
It was six of the best—the very best! Billy Bunter had “done his best” for Smithy, to Smithy’s satisfaction. Now Quelch had done his best for Bunter—not in the least to Bunter’s satisfaction! The final swipe of the six evoked a roar that must have awakened most of the echoes in Masters’ Studies.
“Now, Bunter—.”
“Yow-ow-ow-ow!”
“Let that be a warning to you, Bunter—.”
“Wow! wow! wow!”
“Cease those ridiculous noises at once, Bunter—.”
“Oooooooooooooooooooh!” Bunter seemed to find some difficulty in ceasing the ridiculous noises.
“And leave my study.”
“Ow-ow-ow-wow-wow-wow!”
A mumbling fat Owl rolled out of the study, and wriggled away down the passage like a fat eel. Sounds of woe floated back as Bunter departed.
Mr. Quelch did not heed them. He was done with Bunter, and he dismissed him from mind. He laid the cane on the table, and stood in thought—grim thought!