Memories: Michael Parkinson resented a caning

One of Britain’s best-know TV chat show hosts Michael Parkinson resented the caning he received at Barnsley Grammar School in the early 1950s. “I couldn’t pick up a pen for a day or two,” he revealed in his autobiography.

Michael Parkinson, front row, centre, in form E1, Barnsley Grammar School

Shortly before I took my O levels [in 1951] I was caned by my headmaster, Roche. A large and blustery man with strange eyes, he took his time, keeping you waiting outside his study, making sure you heard the whacks and cries as he beat the bum or hands of some unfortunate boy ahead of you. He had three or four canes he would practice swishing while you stood there wondering how many you might get and what the target might be. Before the beating he told you what he thought of you. He was a man who took his job seriously.

On this occasion he finished his speech by saying, “Unless you buck up Parkinson, you will never add up to much.” Then he gave me six on the hand, which meant I couldn’t pick up a pen for a day or two. As I left his study, trying hard not to whimper, I remember thinking there wasn’t much point in hanging about. He didn’t like me and I hated him and what he stood for, so the sooner we parted the better.

Many years later I received a letter saying there was to be a dinner in honour of Mr Roche and, since he had watched my career on newspaper and TV with interest, would I be willing to be a guest of honour? I politely declined.

Extracted from Parky, My Autobiography, by Michael Parkinson (Hodder & Stoughton, 2008).

Picture credits: Unknown and Getty Images

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